Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm really busy with my period
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