$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
