i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
