If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
