PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
