Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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