It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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