my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
