Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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