I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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