STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
