I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
