She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He felt like a one man threesome
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
