i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
