Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
