i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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