I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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