Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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