i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
