dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
