I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
