so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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