In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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