dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
worst night to have a conscience
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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