His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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