I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just invented taco cereal.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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