Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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