I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
