oh god the rape fog is back!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize