Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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