never play flip cup with pint glasses
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
