That's intense
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize