So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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