Everything about him screamed your future.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
