Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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