He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize