so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
