i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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