If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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