dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
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don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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