apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
