I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
