we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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