apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
