I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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