His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I said "one day" and that day is not today
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
