Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize