I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize