somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
