Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just gargled with NyQuil
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize