I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
