I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
