Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
