That's intense
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
