you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
