I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
