That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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