They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize