Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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