Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
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he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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