She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
