I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
