oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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