Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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