were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
