I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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