I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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