she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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