dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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